On Anger and Other Emotions

Some would argue that humans, like animals behave according to our emotions and instincts. I however, would argue that we have logic that can overcome emotions and instincts. Undeniably, we all have emotions and instincts no matter how much we suppress them. The difference between us and "lesser" beings is that we are capable of sorting through our emotions and make decisions based on more than the current emotions and instincts we are feeling.

Emotions and instincts are tools for survival in the wild, they are neither good or bad. Our reactions to them make our actions good or bad, not the emotions themselves. Sadness, anger, fear, even jealousy are only negative in that they don't make us happy in the present. They have their uses. Sadness lets us know that whatever we're doing or experiencing is not a positive one for us. Fear sharpens our senses and makes us mindful of our surroundings...unless we let it paralyze us. Jealousy lets us know that we are in the presence of a rival. Anger lets us be brutally honest and lowers our inhibitions for hurting others.

Yes, even anger can help us. Now prolonged irrational anger is not healthy either for us nor the person(s) we're angry at. But it does let us communicate our disdain for whatever it is that angers us. I always tell my friends that I don't expect them to never be angry at them nor should they expect me to never be angry at them. But being friends mean we'll be done with the anger and we'll continue being friends after resolving the issues.

I am one of the more emotionless people I know when it comes to completing tasks. I can work with anyone no matter how I feel about them because I can set aside my emotions toward them and just complete the task/project. My utilization of the anger emotion is even less; I often don't even feel angry. Not only can I not show anger, most often I don't feel anger when I probably should.

This is unfortunate. Anger can be a great tool, especially in communicating with the people we love. Often times we guard our words and actions in order not to "hurt" the ones we love. This results in masking our true selves to our loved ones. Being angry lets our friends and family know that we cannot accept the current situation and it is a big deal to us.

Yes, we can tell them nicely that we don't agree with their actions, words or whatever situation we find ourselves in. But in a few circumstances, being angry has its advantages. We tend to say what we think, ignoring our assumptions of consequences. Now I don't mean complete uncontrolled anger (that would be like the HULK) or going berserk. More like a logical anger where we let go of our inhibitions of "hurting" the other person. Let them have a piece of your mind, release your tension about the subject and let the other person know how you feel.

If you truly love each other (at any level, friends or family), and the anger is fairly controlled, you would have just communicated to each other at the basic level. Sometimes this is what is needed to resolve a situation. The key here is to have love for the person you're angry at (and they for you) and to be done with the anger after a good discussion that should follow the anger episode.

So use your emotions, even anger. Remember they're just tools for us to live life to the fullest, to learn, and to be better. Emotions are neutral, it is our actions and response to them that makes us, our behavior when dictated by emotions, good or evil.